listen.trust.grow.fly.

I ask my kids at school a big question when they are at a crossroads.  It’s not anything major. It’s not even original.  Some of them roll their eyes. Some of them spout out some ideas about what that might look like. Some of them go inside themselves and really think on it.

Last Spring I asked an 8th grader the question.

“This is your one life, what do you want it to be?” and while he sat there wrinkling his nose and rubbing his buzzcut, I thought to myself, “My one life.  my one LIFE. My ONE life. MY one life. MY ONE LIFE!!!!!!!”

My life? It’s kind of amazing. It doesn’t fit into a box, but it’s kind of amazing and I want it to continue to be amazing and I want to continue to grow and change and be excited and feel grounded and laugh my head off and love deeply and be moved by encounters with strangers and have adventures in places that rock me right to my core.

And, then, I remembered that the kid sitting across from me in my office was still there.  He wasn’t sure what he wanted his life to be yet but he knew that there were things he wants to do and that someday he’d like to have his own car and go to a real NFL game. And that made me remember that there are things that I’ve always wanted to do that I haven’t done yet and I’d better get to it.

Last Summer I felt my heart beating faster when I started thinking about a new adventure.  In Autumn I felt myself light up inside when I’d look at the world map that hangs above my desk at work.  This Winter I took the plunge and accepted a job offer at an international school in Chennai, India.

And today it’s snowing and I have never seen anything quite so beautiful.

That’s what happens when I do what is real and right for me. Everything becomes more beautiful.

I walked in the snow just now thinking about how this might be the last blizzard I see for awhile. About how my life in Hartford is so rich. I thought about my dad’s kitchen table that he made out of the tiles from the kitchen in our old house on Annawan St. and how much I love to sit at that table with him.  I have love and comfort and stability and the waitstaff at the coffee shop hug me when I come in. Hartford is my home; my people are here.

And because of that love and comfort and richness and that little 8th grader with the buzzcut, my wings emerge. I choose to do what moves me. What makes me feel alive. What challenges me and takes me out of my comfort zone and enables me to grow into a different space.

Being grounded is about how you stand on the earth no matter where on earth you stand.  I am moving to India. I am following my heart and my dreams and my gut. I am moving on from an amazing job that has allowed me to grow in ways that I never could have imagined. I am letting go of things that I thought that I needed that no longer serve me.  I am moving away from people that make my life amazing. I am trusting that love will transcend time and space and challenges and that the people who love me will love me through this.

My one life…I am flying with the feeling of following through on something that I have always dreamed of. The discomfort feels comfortable. Strangely, I feel grounded as I take flight.

And these wings? They look pretty good on me.

tree

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23 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. carla ten eyck
    Feb 08, 2013 @ 15:46:52

    giiiiirrrlll…. I just hope they have funyons and oodles in india! I am so proud of you. I was so proud to watch you think through this whole process and watch you realize a dream you have had for a very long time. I am inspired by your journey, and all of the changes that await for you along the way! Thank god for Skype! I can’t wait to come visit you! XO

    Reply

  2. karen walson
    Feb 08, 2013 @ 15:52:14

    Suzanne- I just call myself lucky to have met you. Greg and I are thinking of doing the same thing soon. We only have 1 life, and we need to seize the day. So that we can look back when we aren’t young anymore and say we lived it to it’s fullest. Carpe Diem! And what a blessing that you are so grounded that you realized this. I lot of people don’t until something tragic happens. Embrace it! And keep in touch. And we will rendezvous back in New England someday. Good Luck!

    Reply

    • mcglam
      Feb 08, 2013 @ 16:55:25

      Thanks, Karen! Getting to know you was such a great part of this past year. You are a true inspiration. Go do fun things with sweet Greg!!!!!

      Reply

  3. Jazzy
    Feb 08, 2013 @ 16:48:29

    I think those wings look pretty gorgeous on you too! Your new adventure is such an inspiration to us all! Enjoy all the wonderfulness to come! We will be loving you all the way through!

    Reply

  4. susan wallace
    Feb 08, 2013 @ 17:15:13

    Whenever I think of you I think of bravery and happiness Suzanne. Following your bliss just seems to suit you. Adventure on! 🙂

    Reply

  5. Justin McGlamery
    Feb 08, 2013 @ 17:26:15

    I LOVE you so much Saide!
    You write so beautifully. Enjoy the blizzard.
    As Michael Franti said, “You don’t need a passport to walk on this earth… Anywhere you go ’cause you were made of this earth. You were born of this earth, you breathe of this earth, and even with the pain you believe of this earth.”

    Soar on Sister Strong…

    LOVE is love and always will be. True Fact:
    LOVE is the best.
    Love you,
    Bo
    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xd3wzh_michael-franti-spearhead-hello-bonj_music#.URV7JaX29Q0

    Reply

  6. Amanda Harris Herzberger
    Feb 08, 2013 @ 20:35:57

    Simply. Beautiful. As always – be well and travel safe. xxoo

    Reply

  7. Matthew Proctor
    Feb 08, 2013 @ 21:37:58

    Wow, Suzaphone! I had no idea you were moving?! How long are you going for, or is this indefinite? Please continue to write these beautiful messages. They are always so poignant and perfect. We will miss you even though we’re way over here in Cali! Spread those wonderful wings girl! Love ya, Matty

    Reply

    • mcglam
      Feb 08, 2013 @ 22:27:03

      MattyFreshness! I have signed a contract for two years. Beyond that, who knows. I will miss you guys, too. But you will always be friends who when we see each other it feels like no time has passed. Much love to you and Yesh and the cutie crew.

      Reply

  8. Michael McGlamery
    Feb 08, 2013 @ 22:37:43

    I’m immensely proud of you Susannah!
    Love, Dad

    Reply

  9. Kelly B.
    Feb 08, 2013 @ 22:56:25

    You are amazing! I’m so happy for you!!!

    Reply

  10. Molly McGlamery-Pickens
    Feb 08, 2013 @ 23:18:54

    Susannah,
    You are quite a woman!! I am so excited for you!! I am so proud of you!
    Love you, Aunt Molly

    Reply

  11. Lori
    Feb 09, 2013 @ 08:01:02

    So proud of you!! Feeling so grounded and connected to friends and family is what allows you to fly. You are a special lady and beautiful friend. Keep soaring!!

    Reply

  12. Susannah
    Jun 14, 2013 @ 22:21:59

    Rock on, Lady. Teaching in India–amazing. I just stumbled upon your blog again (had it bookmarked and i was cleaning up my bookmarked sites and am still holding on to yours!) and am once again floored by the similarities in the lives of two Susannahs who have never met–I, too, have decided to leave a job that I have loved for 9 years (and still love) but finally realized it was time to move on. I have just begun a new life as a mama (baby boy was born April 4 and is all that and then some). You asked me who I am and I never responded–I am a lover of life who loves to laugh and sing and play. And I am a therapist. Once my son was born, I finally let go of my job as an expressive therapist at a non-profit arts organization (www.rawarworks.org — I’m pretty sure my profile is still up on the staff website:) and will soon be going back to work part time with my own dream venture (private practice expressive arts therapist: http://www.artfullifecenter.org). And I started out as a teach 4 america teacher in baltimore–so I get it, I get it. Best of everything to you and I hope you keep blogging, cause I’ll keep reading! Be Well, Susannah Horwitz

    Reply

    • Susannah
      Jun 23, 2013 @ 22:09:21

      oh wow…the parallels are amazing! I, too, started out as a teacher in Baltimore. I am so happy you stumbled upon this blog and I hope we will meet at some point and share some laughs in person. Your new adventure in motherhood and private practice sound absolutely amazing. I will check out your sites and in the meantime am sending you much love and positive energy as you flow into this new chapter!!
      All the best, SoulSisterSusannah!

      Reply

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